In a world where comprehensive sex education is threatened and stifled, porn fills in the gaps, providing sex education that it was never intended to provide.
Very good dive into this, and looking forward to more. As your photo alludes, 'porn' in today's parlance has really expanded to include so many things--could be photos of sunsets or sex sets--all of which have one thing in common: Pleasure. Hard to believe we are poised to go back to pleasure being damned. Also, thank you for the new word; I hadn't known Misandry was the flip side of Misogyny, so I had long ago made up the word Mistersogyny to cover it.
"Sex Sells," and has been selling since the beginning of salesmanship, LOL! Anything, as you have beautifully stated, that draws our voyeuristic attention defines pornography to me. If we are to foolishly rid ourselves of anything interesting or informative to watch, by all means, lets start with outlawing all of the narcissistic, attention hungry, grifting magaverse. Peace, folks. Keep up the good work. : )
As an erotic artist and sexual empowerment coach, this is such a heartbreaking and scary moment. I saw the quote “do not obey in advance” by Tom Snyder as it applies to impending fascism.
It is hard to know exactly how to be in this moment. Whether to continue onwards or how to prepare responsibly without preemptively censoring my work and message. It’s good to remember I’m not alone.
I really appreciate this comment. And you’re certainly not alone in figuring out how to navigate this moment and what resistance looks like. What are some of the factors you’re considering?
Glad to have stumbled on your account — and uber refreshing to have an authoritative and kind voice fighting the fight against Christian Nationalism, Purity Culture Standards, and Misogynistic High Control Tactics towards women and any other lifestyle MAGA/Project 2025 deems “unacceptable!” Thank you. I’m reading, and wish you two all the good luck as you buckle in for a cruddy ride under this administration and continuing to reach folks kind desperate need of sex Ed and health. 🫶🏼
Thanks Anna! Super excited to have as a subscriber, and eager to hear more from you (and others) about ways to create a more just, equitable, and effective relational and sexual health system!
I agree with your opening Statement: "Prohibition" didn't work! However, when Billy Sunday came to town with a Genuine "Revival" and a "Gospel" that truly "Satisfies," Bars shut down! Some, permanently. And, I believe there are still 'Dry" Counties to this day. Please comment on the following Statement: "God wants us to enjoy what He has given us to do, but when we do anything solely FOR 'enjoyment,' it can be missing its Designed Purpose." Obviously, some things WERE Created, such as "beauty" itself -- in all its forms -- for our pleasure, but not to be "used" or especially "abused!" Also, is anything "taboo?" I read somewhere that Hugh Hefner said, "Sex with animals is 'positive.'" And, I still see on the evening news, where someone is accused or convicted of the "crime" of "Sodomy." The definition of "Sodomy" has "evolved" over the years. What say ye? How do you define "consent?" Is there such a thing as "perversion?" Do you agree with the line in a song, "It can't be wrong, when it feels so right?"
You’re conflating a lot of things here—let’s talk about one thing at a time. Sodomy, crime, and bestiality are all different conversations, and it’s unhelpful to throw them into this conversation.
To your comment—I suppose anything CAN be missing its designed purpose. In fact, that’s kinda the point of my article.
Porn is designed to be entertainment. Without comprehensive sex education in school systems, church systems, or other social systems that teaches people how to make ethically informed decisions about sexuality, porn moves into sex education. And I think that’s a big problem.
As I said in the article, there are trends in visual porn that are problematic. (I think that could be said for most systems.) But the real problem is that porn is the first way for many folks that people engage with sexuality, because there’s a vacuum created by abstinence-only sex education policies.
I didn't want to get too conflated again: The question is, "CAN 'sex education' be 'taught' 'ethically?'" Could you ethically teach a bank-robber how to steal?
"Can sex education be taught ethically?" is a great question. The Our Whole Lives (OWL) program developed within and practiced by the United Church of Christ and Unitarian Universalists is an example of a sex education program that focuses on teaching sexual ethics.
Agreed. I now see that I strayed from the purpose of your article. However, I believe you did state that none of the supposed harmful effects of pornography "has actually been proven." I have been in Prison Ministry for many years, and the "guilt by association" between pornography and sexual crimes is undeniable. I can say with almost certainty, that EVERY rapist started with pornography. Not every one who drinks becomes an alcoholic, but you won't if you don't drink. As for "sex education," surely there is a logical explanation for why it is so hard to talk about. Is there any evidence that "sexual knowledge" is "intuitive" or perhaps "ingrained" and learned -- similar to Language?
1) Sexual crimes are a manifestation of misogyny and violence toward women. There is certainly a subset (a fairly sizable one) of pornographic material that enacts violence towards women without there being clear communication that a) this is a form of entertainment between two consenting actors; b) do not try this at home unless you get full consent from the people in the sexual interaction; and c) here's a scene of these two (or more) actors negotiating consent in real time. On the one hand, correlation and causation are not the same thing. On the other hand, the porn industry certainly doesn't help itself when it fails to do these three things.
2) The question about sexual knowledge being intuitive or engrained is a really good one. I can't think of any studies that have explored this. I tend to lean in the direction of no--any sort of knowledge about how to do sexual or relational interactions is learned socially, be that through absorbing how your parents related to each other, or through childhood/adolescent/student-teacher relationships. With that said, certain forms of intelligence are more or less innate. There seems to be a link between emotional intelligence and relational success.
Therefore, is one of your purposes, building "relational success" through teaching or perhaps identifying "emotional intelligence?" If so, that is a worthy occupation.
Sorry, but I don't know how else to communicate to you. My bank may have blocked your Subscription charge to my debit card. I thought I approved it, but it hasn't shone up yet. Let me know if I need to fix something.
Very good dive into this, and looking forward to more. As your photo alludes, 'porn' in today's parlance has really expanded to include so many things--could be photos of sunsets or sex sets--all of which have one thing in common: Pleasure. Hard to believe we are poised to go back to pleasure being damned. Also, thank you for the new word; I hadn't known Misandry was the flip side of Misogyny, so I had long ago made up the word Mistersogyny to cover it.
Thanks so much! Pleasure is certainly a key part of sexual health!
"Sex Sells," and has been selling since the beginning of salesmanship, LOL! Anything, as you have beautifully stated, that draws our voyeuristic attention defines pornography to me. If we are to foolishly rid ourselves of anything interesting or informative to watch, by all means, lets start with outlawing all of the narcissistic, attention hungry, grifting magaverse. Peace, folks. Keep up the good work. : )
Thanks for your support! And I totally wish that there was a way around the First Amendment to outlaw grifting MAGAverse content.
Loved this!!! Thank you!!!
Thank you for all of this.
As an erotic artist and sexual empowerment coach, this is such a heartbreaking and scary moment. I saw the quote “do not obey in advance” by Tom Snyder as it applies to impending fascism.
It is hard to know exactly how to be in this moment. Whether to continue onwards or how to prepare responsibly without preemptively censoring my work and message. It’s good to remember I’m not alone.
I really appreciate this comment. And you’re certainly not alone in figuring out how to navigate this moment and what resistance looks like. What are some of the factors you’re considering?
Glad to have stumbled on your account — and uber refreshing to have an authoritative and kind voice fighting the fight against Christian Nationalism, Purity Culture Standards, and Misogynistic High Control Tactics towards women and any other lifestyle MAGA/Project 2025 deems “unacceptable!” Thank you. I’m reading, and wish you two all the good luck as you buckle in for a cruddy ride under this administration and continuing to reach folks kind desperate need of sex Ed and health. 🫶🏼
Thanks Anna! Super excited to have as a subscriber, and eager to hear more from you (and others) about ways to create a more just, equitable, and effective relational and sexual health system!
I think my substack my have an additional bearing on why 'porn'
https://haldonahue.substack.com/p/my-three-things-0f1?utm_source=activity_item
I agree with your opening Statement: "Prohibition" didn't work! However, when Billy Sunday came to town with a Genuine "Revival" and a "Gospel" that truly "Satisfies," Bars shut down! Some, permanently. And, I believe there are still 'Dry" Counties to this day. Please comment on the following Statement: "God wants us to enjoy what He has given us to do, but when we do anything solely FOR 'enjoyment,' it can be missing its Designed Purpose." Obviously, some things WERE Created, such as "beauty" itself -- in all its forms -- for our pleasure, but not to be "used" or especially "abused!" Also, is anything "taboo?" I read somewhere that Hugh Hefner said, "Sex with animals is 'positive.'" And, I still see on the evening news, where someone is accused or convicted of the "crime" of "Sodomy." The definition of "Sodomy" has "evolved" over the years. What say ye? How do you define "consent?" Is there such a thing as "perversion?" Do you agree with the line in a song, "It can't be wrong, when it feels so right?"
You’re conflating a lot of things here—let’s talk about one thing at a time. Sodomy, crime, and bestiality are all different conversations, and it’s unhelpful to throw them into this conversation.
To your comment—I suppose anything CAN be missing its designed purpose. In fact, that’s kinda the point of my article.
Porn is designed to be entertainment. Without comprehensive sex education in school systems, church systems, or other social systems that teaches people how to make ethically informed decisions about sexuality, porn moves into sex education. And I think that’s a big problem.
As I said in the article, there are trends in visual porn that are problematic. (I think that could be said for most systems.) But the real problem is that porn is the first way for many folks that people engage with sexuality, because there’s a vacuum created by abstinence-only sex education policies.
I didn't want to get too conflated again: The question is, "CAN 'sex education' be 'taught' 'ethically?'" Could you ethically teach a bank-robber how to steal?
"Can sex education be taught ethically?" is a great question. The Our Whole Lives (OWL) program developed within and practiced by the United Church of Christ and Unitarian Universalists is an example of a sex education program that focuses on teaching sexual ethics.
Agreed. I now see that I strayed from the purpose of your article. However, I believe you did state that none of the supposed harmful effects of pornography "has actually been proven." I have been in Prison Ministry for many years, and the "guilt by association" between pornography and sexual crimes is undeniable. I can say with almost certainty, that EVERY rapist started with pornography. Not every one who drinks becomes an alcoholic, but you won't if you don't drink. As for "sex education," surely there is a logical explanation for why it is so hard to talk about. Is there any evidence that "sexual knowledge" is "intuitive" or perhaps "ingrained" and learned -- similar to Language?
A couple of things.
1) Sexual crimes are a manifestation of misogyny and violence toward women. There is certainly a subset (a fairly sizable one) of pornographic material that enacts violence towards women without there being clear communication that a) this is a form of entertainment between two consenting actors; b) do not try this at home unless you get full consent from the people in the sexual interaction; and c) here's a scene of these two (or more) actors negotiating consent in real time. On the one hand, correlation and causation are not the same thing. On the other hand, the porn industry certainly doesn't help itself when it fails to do these three things.
2) The question about sexual knowledge being intuitive or engrained is a really good one. I can't think of any studies that have explored this. I tend to lean in the direction of no--any sort of knowledge about how to do sexual or relational interactions is learned socially, be that through absorbing how your parents related to each other, or through childhood/adolescent/student-teacher relationships. With that said, certain forms of intelligence are more or less innate. There seems to be a link between emotional intelligence and relational success.
Therefore, is one of your purposes, building "relational success" through teaching or perhaps identifying "emotional intelligence?" If so, that is a worthy occupation.
Yes. And thanks!
Sorry, but I don't know how else to communicate to you. My bank may have blocked your Subscription charge to my debit card. I thought I approved it, but it hasn't shone up yet. Let me know if I need to fix something.